There's No Happy Ending
by cellopanda14
Summary: Lovino is very different from his brother. He is antisocial, and despises being bugged by people. However, even though people so desperately want to include him, he feels that they only pity him. And once they get him in, they forget him all together. No real pairings, except for hints at Spamano but nothing really happens with it. T for Romano's language. I do not own Hetalia.
1. Chapter 1

Was it normal to feel... outcast? To feel like people could never look at you quite right, because for some reason something about you reeked of outsider, or freak? I wasn't quite sure. I never seem to be.

My name is Lovino. I am sixteen years old. I have a strange curl that sticks out of my head and won't ever flatten out. I am not entirely popular. I have always felt this way. Between me and my twin brother Feliciano, I was the odd twin. The quiet twin. In some cases where people somehow magically weren't BLIND, the smart twin. Feliciano, on the other hand, is almost entirely opposite. He is completely outgoing, without a care in the world. He makes friends more easily than a millionaire with money to burn. However, he is a complete and total idiot. His grades are amazingly poor, but he manages to pass every semester with Cs.

The two of us attend a multicultural high school, meaning most of the kids are all from different countries. We had to apply to enter, and since my essay and test scores were so outstanding, they decided Feliciano could come with me so he wouldn't "be forced to be separated from my dear fratello!" If you haven't guessed by now, we're Italian.

Anyway, attending this high school is not as fantastic as it may seem. At least, it's not for me anyway. I don't really like people all that much. They tend to annoy the shit out of me. My brother on the other hand loves to socialize. He becomes well known with as many people as possible. And as soon as his new friends see me, they are baffled that we are even related, despite the fact that Feliciano and I are IDENTICAL. Down to the haircut identical! And since we have to wear the traditional boys' uniform, we look like someone put a mirror next to one of us and the other is merely a reflection. THAT'S HOW DAMN IDENTICAL WE ARE. But because I'm such a secluded soul they remain amazed. Of course they talk to me from time to time, but it's only because I happen to be in the same room as Feliciano and they don't want me to feel awkward, although I think they do it more for themselves than me.

Feliciano is probably the most popular boy in our school. He is president of student council, which makes him head planner of all parties and school events. Blech. He does announcements over the PA system, goes to most sports games (and acts like a cheerleader the WHOLE DAMN TIME), and also happens to be a sort of advice counselor to other students. Then there's me. For some ungodly reason, Feli made me a class representative. I have to go to every student council meeting, and arrange class stuff. Although if I can, I let the girl representative to most of the planning (her name Mei something, I think). I hate being involved because it invades my anti-social policy.

Normally, I couldn't care less about being separate from the social aspect from school. But for some reason, this school gives me a different feeling. For one thing, every time someone looks at me while I'm reading, or just off to the side, they have this aura about them that feels like a mix of resentment and pity. Like they don't understand how I manage to live the way I do, under a shadow my brother seems to cast. However, I choose to be this way, so I wish they would just stop. I can FEEL them look at me. I can feel them judge me. It's eerie and painful.


	2. Chapter 2

Something weird has been happening. This one guy has been talking to me. A lot.

It's like for some reason he can't leave me alone. Of course, he is friends with Feliciano, but he pays attention to me. It's almost kind of creepy. Every day, he greets me with "Hola, Lovino!" or "Buenos dias, Lovnio! Que pasa?" and naturally, I respond with "Spanish and Italian aren't the same language, idiot. Speak one I can understand." His name is Antonio. He's from Spain. I don't know why, but he smiles a lot and it gives me a headache.

I hope to god I didn't make a friend, because I don't want one. But Antonio always sits next to me and chats with me, as though I'm listening. I just bury myself deeper into my book and try my best to ignore him. The only time I don't mind him bugging me is when he genuinely needs academic help. However, some of the stuff he needs help with is kind of idiotic in my mind. Like last week:

"Ay! Lovino! Please help me!" Antonio said loudly while walking over to my desk.

"What is it you need now, idiot?" I grumbled, interrupted from my lunch.

"I can not understand las matematicas homework!" He kind of pouted in this weird way, which only made me sigh.

"It's only algebra, how can you not understand it?!" Algebra was a concept I knew quite well, and even enjoyed sometimes. The logic needed for it makes me feel better when I'm focused on it and not the absurdity of reality.

"But there are tres systems and cero solutions given! How can you expect me to find todos?!" He seemed really desperate for help. I only sighed. I suppose not being able to do it is understandable, but it still frustrated me.

"Fine, dumbass. Show me your paper." And from then I helped him. But only because he was being really annoying by constantly bugging me.

I don't understand people.


	3. Chapter 3

So apparently some weird dance thing happens every year at school. Feliciano called it some dumb name like Spring Social. I call it "Not worth my time." Even though it's literally not for another several months, like six or so, it's all Feli can talk about. He's already started planning it. He wants it to be perfectly timed for the trees, or something. I could care much less about it. He said he wants my help for decorations and music but despite my insisting I had no taste and that if he genuinely wanted a good job done, he go somewhere else, he wants my opinion. I have no opinion. I never decorate anything, and I hardly listen to music.

The more annoying part was his talk about dates. He basically just sat down with the Vice President (some girl named Bella) and started discussing who they thought would go with who or who the cute couples were. I wasn't listening much to their conversation, but I could tell when they got to me because they were suddenly silent and kind of just staring at me, like they weren't sure. Almost as though they couldn't possibly think of a solution regarding me. But eventually, Feli said something similar to "Don't fuss over Lovi! He'll be fine! He always is!" and I felt relieved.

I never understood why Feliciano wanted to do stuff with me so much. As far as I can tell, I'm not great company. But I guess its the fact that I'm the older twin that for some reason he feels like its such a great thing for the younger brother to be close to the older. Even though the difference is about ten minutes.

One thing that always bugged me was the way Feliciano handled his social status. He basically thinks nothing of it. By just being him, he is loved by everybody. And then when he started trying to get me involved with him, he was basically trying to get me to socialize. Perhaps he pities me too. Not even my younger brother thinks I'm happy with my life.


	4. Chapter 4

So apparently another part of this school is class trips, also planned by my brother the class president. They decided that since it was still warm from the remaining summer days, that we should go to the beach. God help me.

I've never particularly enjoyed swimming. I just don't like the beach in general. It's too hot, and dry, and the sand gets everywhere. The only way I've ever managed to enjoy beach trips is by staying home. But as usual, Feli really wants me to go.

"Come on, Fratello! It will be fun, si?!" He was trying to use a cute face on me he used to use on our parents when he wanted stuff.

"No." I grumbled.

"But you are class representative! You have to go!" He grabbed my arm and tugged at it like a child.

"The only reason I'm class representative is because you convinced people to vote for me. I don't even like the position." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and tried to read a book.

"That is besides the point, fratello!" He said, whining. I was amazed to hear he knew how to use that statement. "The beach is a great way to spend time with friends! It is a nice break from school and hard work, a break you clearly need!"

I looked him square in the eyes. "I don't have any friends, fratello. You know this. I don't know why you try to have me spend time people who clearly don't enjoy my company." And for the first time in a while, his face became serious.

"You could always make friends... and I happen to enjoy your company a lot. I just want to make sure fratello is happy." His face seemed very sad, yet serious and concerned. It was that moment that reminded me why I do the things I do against my will. It is one of the things that proves we truly are brothers. Like him, I just want my little fratello to be happy.


	5. Chapter 5

The beach sucks.

As soon as we got there, I started feeling warm and had to cover up in sun lotion. I was afraid that the greasiness would keep me from being able to read the book I brought. I also brought with me swim trunks (which I don't even know why I was wearing), a button up shirt, a large towel, and an umbrella to keep the sun off of my face while I read. I had basically planned to do nothing but read the whole day. That and observe Feliciano to make sure he was happy.

Every once in awhile, he would look over at me, smile his gigantic goofy grin, and wave at me, and like the good brother I was, I waved back. The reading wasn't bad, but the slight breeze wasn't helping. Plus, with every new game Feli played he tried to get me to join. First was some swimming, which I rejected, and after some of that beach volleyball followed. I swear I didn't know such a sport could make people look so ridiculous. Antonio even got hit in the face. That part I enjoyed quite a bit.

However, he later came over to chat, to my complete displeasure.

"Hola, Lovino! Having fun, si?!" He wore his headache giving grin, and I shrugged.

"I suppose so. I have a nice book." I tried to return to it, but he decided to sit next to me instead.

"Why don't you join us? We are going to toss around a frisbee!" He gestured over to Feli, who grinned and waved absurdly.

"I have other things to entertain myself with, thanks." I said it as unpleasantly as the idea felt. But of course, he didn't leave me alone.

"Well are you going to at least swim a bit?" He seemed eager to swim with me. I didn't like that idea.

"I don't really think-" I was cut off by him lifting me over his shoulder and carrying me towards the ocean. "GOD DAMMIT HISPANIC BASTARD PUT ME DOWN!" I hollered. Feliciano and his friends merely laughed as I was placed gently in the ocean. I stood there with my arms crossed and a grimace on my face. "It's cold." I stated. Antonio laughed.

"Well, water is like that sometimes, amigo, now lets swim!" Antonio pulled off his shirt and dove into the water, revealing his tan skin and surprisingly toned abs. I stayed put in my spot. He called from a distance "Come on! It feels great!"

Grumbling, I reluctantly started to swim a little, pulling off my own shirt revealing my pale, flat chest and stomach. I swam forward for a minute. I supposed it wasn't so bad. Sure it was cold, but I got used to it I guess. I swam around for a second, not sure if I should go meet Antonio (the idea worried me) so I just ducked below the surface occasionally.

I suppose the experience was nice while it lasted. I say that because unfortunately, I forgot that the ocean often had currents. Currents that were hazardous because they took scrawny people like me and dragged them underwater before they could breathe. I started flailing my arms trying to get back up, but I couldn't. In my panic, I could feel my breath run out and my eyes suddenly get heavy. After that, everything went dark.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up with the worst headache I had ever had the misfortune of feeling. I was convinced someone placed dynamite inside my cranium. I looked around for a second and saw I was back on my beach towel, still shirtless and now kind of chilly. I groaned as I sat up, and realized that Feliciano was sitting next to me, with the most worried expression I had ever seen him have.

"You're awake, fratello!" He jumped into me with an embrace, something I hadn't anticipated.

"Si, si, Feli, I'm awake. What is wrong with you?" I began to push him off of me. I was mostly rubbing my head. I had no idea how much time had passed, and for some reason my most recent memories were sorta dark and blurry.

"Fratello, you almost drowned." Feli had complete seriousness in his expression. And it all flooded back. I took off my shirt, went for a swim, and got caught in the current. I must've lost consciousness when I got pulled under.

"How... What... What happened?" My head was reeling. I couldn't comprehend anything. If I almost drowned, how was I saved? Who saved me?

If it was an almost drowning, I should've woken up immediately, so the only thing that worried me was the fact that I passed out. All of a sudden, I wasn't so sure of my safety.

"You swam out, and..." Feliciano didn't seem entirely comfortable with telling me. This was new. "We think you were under for a good few minutes... we didn't expect you to live."

"WHAT?! WHY?!" I was horrified. Weren't there lifeguards or some stupid shit like that?!

"No one had noticed you got up and went swimming..." Feliciano was afraid to look at me. I didn't know such a thing could happen.

"Then how in HELL am I alive?!" I was disgusted. I didn't know any person could almost die and no one would notice. But then I remembered. I wasn't exactly the center of attention like Feliciano. I cooled down as soon as I realized it was surprising anyone saved me at all.

"Well..." Feliciano looked down at his toes as though with sudden interest, "Antonio was swimming from afar. He was watching some of the girls, when he looked over and finally realized you weren't above the surface. He swam over and pulled you out." He seemed nervous telling me this, but I couldn't really tell why.

So the person who placed me in the water INSISTING I swim forgot about me completely. I suddenly had an even stronger annoyance, almost downright hatred for the damn Spaniard. But I remembered, saving a drowning person isn't exactly a walk in the park. "And where is he now?" I started to get kind of worried. Did... did he die because of me?

"He's by the bus. We'll be leaving soon. We were just waiting for you to wake up." Feli looked up at me, but his normal smile came back as he hugged me again. "But at least you are okay now!" He stood up and started pulling my hand. "Come on! Let's go!" I stood up and walked with my fratello back to the bus. Before we got on, I managed to catch Antonio.

"Hey, idiot!" I said sort of shouted. He looked up, and he had this odd expression. It was a mix of excitement and relief. I'd never seen it on him before. I got kind of quiet.

"Lovino! Hola! Que pasa?!" He beamed, apparently glad I was okay.

"I'm fine, bastard. And how many times do I have to tell you, Italian and Spanish aren't the same..." I was kind of embarrassed having to say this next part. "Thanks for... you know, saving me..." Antonio smiled even brighter, worsening my headache. However, I noticed a bit of darkness in his eyes, like something was wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

People have been paying slightly more attention to me lately. I don't like it.

Ever since I almost drowned, people started thinking I was "accident prone" and that since I was so unnoticable, they needed to keep a special eye on me. It's idiotic. Now I can't do anything in peace! Everytime I read, they walk over to me and start trying to include me. It's sickening! I've been trying to find a spot to hide to myself for a week now! I swear I've never worked so hard to avoid people before today. My social awkwardness/loathing has a bigger effect than ever.

What's odd is Antonio. Sure, he still tries to talk to me all the time, but of all people, he has the closest eye on me. It's like he thinks I'm going to spontaneously combust (a term he doesn't know, by the way). And every time I catch his watchful glance, his eyes are full of worry, or sometimes hurt. He talks to me as though nothing is wrong, but I think he's lying. And I can't stand it when people lie to me. The other day, for example.

"Hola, Lovino!" He said, his semi-normal self. He took the chair next to mine and turned towards me to talk, I guess.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed. A headache magically appeared as he smiled (I wonder how that happened).

"Nothing, really, just to talk to mi amigo!" Was he checking on me, or something? We had nothing to talk about, unless he had something to say about the beach trip, which I doubted.

"Well, I don't really have anything to talk about, so I don't know, maybe someone else wants your attention." I tried to focus back on my book, but I could feel that oh so familiar feeling I got when someone gave me that pitiful look. Except his seemed happier than others.

"I guess that person will have to wait then." He smiled. He was fairly popular with girls, always attracting their attention. They mostly stare at him, and as soon he looks at them and smile, they start giggling. It's awful to listen to. Yet for some reason, he keeps talking to me.

"What could you possibly have to talk about with me?" I gave him a look that was quizzical mixed with annoyance.

"Stuff... Spring Social..." I didn't like where he was going it. I stood up and slammed my book on the table.

"That dumb I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-it is the worst possible thing you could want to discuss! For once, just leave me to myself!" And I stormed out of the room. I felt extremely relieved to see that he didn't follow me.


	8. Chapter 8

I've spent my time searching, and I think I may have found a place to escape and be alone. Originally, it was the school's roof, an enormous open space that almost no one knows you can access. I tried there a couple of times, and it was truly quite peaceful and I enjoyed it, but however people started to disapprove of my being on a high place for fear I'd fall off and break my neck. I mean, seriously, how would I do that? There is a fence keeping people away from the edge. I couldn't fall over the edge if I WANTED to. So I started wandering the campus.

I had never truly realized how nice the campus was until I traveled its entirety. The architecture looks old, but is very modern and has a nice cool shade of maroon. The campus had trees left and right, which I guess bloomed or something. There is a fountain in the middle of everything. I have never noticed this before, since my normal path to class is directly to the room from the boys' dorm. But now, I guess I appreciate it? I don't know. I just like it more than being surrounded by people who pity me or give me unwanted attention.

I found this room that is never used. It used to be a music room of sorts, but as far as I can tell, it hasn't been entered in years. It has dust everywhere. I don't even quite know how I managed to get in, it was just open for some reason. So anyway, I've been coming here lately to build up my wanted seclusion. It's the best feeling I've had in a while, getting to run away from the assholes of life, to just sink into a book. I hope this never has to stop.


	9. Chapter 9

Sports can do die. In a hole. Where no one can find them. Ten feet under the earth.

Feliciano bugged me into playing a game of badminton today. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do.

He called to me while I was reading under a shady tree. "Fratello! Fratello! Come play with us!" He wore his dopey grin and flailed his arm around trying to get my attention.

"Ugh, I don't want to Feliciano. Leave me out of this." I didn't even have to look up to know who was all in the game. I could hear from their statements.

On one side was of course Feliciano with his two closest friends, a german kid who looked way to buff to be human named Ludwig and an odd japanese boy who said weird stuff when he hit the birdy like "For the honor of Otosan!" named Kiku. On the other side was the always annoying Antonio and ridiculously loud and obnoxious friend Gilbert, another german and apparently brother to Ludwig. When he hit the birdie, he shouted "I AM AWESOME!" On the sidelines, cheering/taunting people, were Antonio's other friend, some creepy french kid name Francis (REAL original name there), a girl making fun of Gilbert whom he called Liz (I have a feeling that's just a nickname, though), and cheerleader of Feli's team Bella.

"Si, amigo! We need uno mas player on our side!" Antonio shouted, before hitting the birdy again. I only sighed. But when I looked up, and saw Feliciano's expression, I couldn't say no. He looked really sad seeing my by myself. I got that "someone's pitying me" feeling again, and stood from my spot and walked over.

"Fine, idiot." I merely said, as I took the last racket. "But don't expect anything good out of this." Let's just say athletics weren't exactly my strong point. Feliciano served the birdie way too hard, and it came towards me. I hadn't anticipated it, so I ended up holding the racket in front of my face and it bounced off back over the net. Antonio laughed as it came back to him and the game went like this for a short while. However, I ended up doing a lot less work than I thought I'd need to. It was like always, they pressured me into doing something and they ended up forgetting I even exist.

I stood in the background, hearing the familiar chants of the the players and the hollers of the sidelines. Elizabeta, it turned out her name was, kept trying to make Gilbert mess up, laughing boisterously when he did. Bella kept going "You got this, Feli!" and every time he hit the birdie, he shouted "PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" in honor of his favorite food. I sighed at the sight in front of me. Being social was exhausting and pointless seeming.

At one point, Antonio looked back and remembered I was in the game, so he let the birdy go to me a couple of times. I actually managed to hit it, which I guess felt good or something. Although, one of the times Feliciano hit the birdy too hard, and I mean WAY too hard, and it went really far behind the court. So I walked over to go get it. It landed just past this one overgrown tree, whose roots tripped me upon trying to walk past them. I fell on my face/arms as I tried to anticipate the blow of the ground. I landed with a profound "Oof!" Looking up with a groan, I saw the birdie was right in front of my face, so I grabbed it and stood up, dusting myself off.

Turning back to the game, I saw they had resumed playing with a new birdy. I had been completely disregarded. I wasn't important to them. They didn't need me. I dropped the birdy on the ground, feeling something I had never truly felt until now. Lonely. Excluded. I knew then why Feliciano always wanted to have me do stuff. He didn't want me to feel this way. Yet he just let me go, off to the side, and be completely forgotten. It reminded me of us as children. How Feliciano was such an adorable child, drawing and singing all day long. He was a charmer then, and remains to be one today. I used to observe this from afar when we were little.

I became angry. How could I expect to matter to them?! I didn't enjoy being with them in the first place, yet I kept getting dragged into these situations and feeling this same feeling time after time! I picked up the racket I had dropped upon tripping and bent it over my knee in an attempt to snap it. I stormed back to the tree to get my book, and from there went to my dorm. As I left, I heard only one word, from the person who always seemed to notice first I was missing. I don't know if he said it seeing me walk away or realizing I wasn't standing behind him.

"Lovino?"


	10. Chapter 10

Things are slightly more normal now. The "any second Lovino could die or hurt himself so we should keep an eye on him" feeling has almost completely faded away. I managed to clean and hide the scratches from tripping on the tree root from Feliciano. Him worrying over me is worse than physical torture, because he CLINGS to me. ALL DAY. And he tries to make it better, and despite the fact that he had completely good intentions everything fails. It's much easier for me to deal with my problems on my own.

Antonio still gives me that look, almost like he's really sorry for something, but I don't really know what. But nonetheless, he has to talk to me day in and day out. I've actually taken up listening to music (but I'm not gonna tell Feliciano. He still wants me to help with his dumbass dance) to distract myself. I picked a random genre to listen to on Pandora on my smartphone. The genre selected was "Alternative Rock" and I have to say, I really enjoy it. I listen to that station, along with stations for the bands I like most so far. It helps for ignoring Antonio.

Attempting to conceal earbuds is an interesting task. I try to wear my jacket over the wires, but it gets uncomfortable. I can't exactly cover them with my arms either. Fortunately, Feliciano doesn't notice little changes all too much, and he's so distracted by his social life he hasn't even noticed I purchased and am now using earbuds.

Since the game of badminton, Feliciano doesn't invite me to play sports with him anymore. It's great! However, when he got home that day, he gave me his "pity" look again, and I could definitely feel it. Lucky for him he didn't question me about my leaving. Otherwise, he might've accidentally gotten a mouthful of anger and crude language. Things have been kind of weird since then. At least, for me it feels like it. Feliciano doesn't act any different, but I feel even more that weird, slightly lonely feeling from the game. I just keep reminding myself I don't really enjoy their company anyway, so longing for it is pointless.

I'll just have to keep turning to my music. I swear, sometimes I feel like I can relate to the bands I listen to.


	11. Chapter 11

I guess my brother's dumb dance is already here. Or at least around the corner.

He started announcing it to the classes. He talked about how it'll be "so much fun" and "there's music and food and dancing" and "everybody is encouraged to bring a date". I might be sick. I hope to god the day of the dance I get sick.

Because if I don't, I have to go, date or no date, because I'm a class rep and it looks good to the students if the representatives go. Dances are the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! Not to mention all that's been talked about lately is the stupid Spring Social and how they want to ask this person and they wanna wear this. It's sickening, really. The music is probably going to be horrible, too. It'll feel that way especially now that I've started enjoying heavier rock and some screamo. There's no way dances play that kind of music.

Plus, Antonio talks to me MORE now! It's almost like he wants me to go with him, or something utterly ridiculous like that. Blegh. Literally every time he sits with me I can hear girls pout or complain about how they missed their shot. I swear I HATE Antonio sometimes. The stuff he keeps bringing up is the same bullshit.

"Hola, Lovino!" He says as he cheerily sits next to me. Some girl somewhere behind us pouts as he does so. "Are you excited for the-"

"No." I cut off a bit harshly. "If you intend on discussing it I am leaving."

"But it's in less than a week! It's all everybody's talking about, Lovi!" He said, whining a bit himself.

Like last time, I slam my book on the table as I stand up. "Goodbye Anton-" but I realize "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!"

He was taken aback. "Que es mal? It is only a nickname, amigo!"

"I hate that nickname!" My face must've been bright red. I was fuming.

"Pero, your brother calls you that-" He clearly didn't get what I meant.

"I despise being called 'Lovi' and my fratello knows that!" I got up from there and left. I suppose it was a good thing Feliciano wasn't in the room to hear me say such a thing. I was storming across campus, not knowing that Antonio was following me.

I had almost reached my secret spot when he stopped me. "Are you even going with anyone to the Spring Social?" He asked, luckily not too loudly. If I had walked any more, he would've found my spot. I almost had a heart attack.

"ABSOLUTELY. NOT." I said, not too loud but severe. "I don't even want to go in the first place! I only have to because Feliciano won't shut up about it! He says I have to do it because I'm class representative, even though I didn't want the damn position in the first place! So before I have to touch you, stop talking about the damn dance and leave me alone!" I was panting. Hard. That took a lot for me to rant it all at once. Antonio was shocked at me. He didn't even know I had it in me.

His eyes were so full of sadness; not because I yelled at him, but because of how alone and bitter I sounded. How bitter I was about having to socialize. He did what everybody did. Felt sorry. Pitied me. It was the look he got every time he remembered he'd forgotten me. Because for some ungodly reason, he was the only one to notice. It was the look in his eyes he got when I almost died because, like everyday of my life, everyone forgot I existed. Except he would always remember. But every time he did, it was almost too late.

The bell rang shortly after, signaling for us to return to class. Antonio looked like he was going to say "I'm sorry" but instead left. I stood there, shaking. Once the courtyard had cleared, I fell to my knees, and sat there for a while, clutching my head in my hands.


	12. Chapter 12

Tonight was the dance.

I had no idea anything could be so horrible. For one thing, I had to wear a suit or tux or whatever it was called. Mine was black with a black skinny tie, and black dress shoes. Feli's clothes were similar, except his tux was white with a white bow tie, a black button up shirt, white shoes, and an almost silver (because it was sort of sparkly) fedora. If he wasn't careful, he could've blinded someone. We were almost opposites, just like in personality. I grimaced the entire time I had to wait for him to get ready because I'm a much faster and more careless dresser. But as soon as he came out, he was so happy and excited, I couldn't help but feel a little glad to see Feli so happy.

I insisted I drive over because he was waaaaaay too jumpy to handle the car. We got to the school at 7 sharp, just when the dance was to start. The campus had candles everywhere, hidden inside multi colored lanterns. Everybody was outside the gym waiting for Feliciano to open it. And as soon as he did, you could hear the music playing loudly.

Inside the gym was not what I had expected. For one thing, there was a disco ball. I didn't know student council could afford such an atrocity. It was pretty dark, but you could see tables for people to sit and talk and a long table with drinks and some small food items. Also hanging were streamers of sorts, and the ceiling was coated with balloons. There were even cherry blossoms all over the walls. Fully bloomed ones. Clearly a lot of effort was put in by Feliciano, more than he put into his school work. He was so happy.

The music kind of sucked. It was some dumb hip hop, with an occasional alternative song which made me feel better about it. However, as I walked amongst the people, I could hear whispers.

"Look! It's Feli's brother!

"I can't believe he actually came!"

"I thought he hated this stuff!"

"Poor kid, didn't he almost die?" Every new comment sickened me.

But there was one voice I recognized out of the crowd.

"Hola! Buenas Noches, Lovino!" Damn it. It was Antonio. His smile this time was pure. Pure joy, pure happiness. Not a hint of pity. He was followed closely by his two friends, Gilbert and Francis. Antonio wore (god help him) a BLUE tuxedo, with matching blue shoes and a bow tie. Not just any shade either, LIGHT BLUE. I didn't know people could wear such things. However, he didn't care my grimace at his clothes. He was just really glad to see me.

People started filling the dance floor, which was my queue to slip away. Antonio and his friends got distracted by some girls talking to them, so I walked over to the refreshment table and got a drink. I leaned up against the back of the wall and observed, trying my hardest to make any sense out of this night. I saw Feliciano. He was such a terrible dancer, it made me laugh to myself. Other people were dancing around him, while he was attempting to get his friends to join him. He must've dragged them out there with him, because they weren't doing much themselves. But I saw something that amazed me.

As a slower song came on, Feliciano took Ludwig's hand. I swear, I didn't know the german He-Man could blush as he started awkwardly dancing with Feliciano. They held both hands and sort of sway-danced. I guess the german had a thing for Feli. Never would've guessed. I had no clue where his asian friend went, though. But then I saw Antonio. He was dancing with some girl, I think it was Bella, the vice president. She was extremely enjoying it, but despite Antonio's grin, I don't think he felt any different about it. He was happy, but not like the girl was. I just kept leaning and sipping.

Stupid dance.


	13. Chapter 13

I have no clue how long I stood there by myself, appalled at the socialness of this dance. With every dance, Antonio got passed from girl to girl. I think a couple of them fought a little bit. Typical Antonio, being a player. I saw his german friend and that girl Elizabeta dancing. Not a huge shocker, really. The french guy was off flirting with every chick he could. I sighed. I looked away for just a second, considering whether or not I should walk out of the door and go to my hiding spot. But of course, my seclusion was interrupted.

"Hola."

I looked over at Antonio, wearing his grin. He must've thought I was lonely or something stupid like that, because why else would he have come bother me? I merely grumbled. "Hey idiot."

"You having fun?" His expression was hopeful. What was he getting at...?

"Not really." I looked at the crown again, checking on Feliciano. "The music sucks."

He chuckled a bit to himself. "Si, si, you are right amigo. I suppose Feliciano didn't consult your expertise." His hands were in his pockets. The following silence was kind of awkward.

"What do you want, spaniard?" I asked dully. I didn't feel like yelling all that much.

"For you to dance. Have some fun, Lovino! Tonight's a night to just goof off, don't be so grumpy." He held out his hand, signaling me to follow him.

"I don't think so." I walked towards the door this time, when he grabbed my right arm gently.

"Do I need to pick you up like the time at the beach?" He raised an eyebrow, maniacally. I sighed.

"Whatever." I grumbled and he let me go. I followed him out under the disco ball. While he started picking up the groove of the song, I wondered what the odds were of the disco ball falling and impaling me. I sort of stood there awkwardly, until the song ended and another slower one came on. I mostly swayed to the beat, but Antonio had a different idea. He took my hands and put them behind his neck, and his behind my lower back.

"W-what are you doing, dumbass?!" I didn't understand this at all. I mean, yeah, other people around us were doing it, but that didn't mean I liked it. My face was probably red as he started swaying, causing me to as well.

"It's called dancing, amigo." He wore his grin. Yet again, I got a headache, except it wasn't as bad this time. I was afraid of what would happened if I ran away, so I did everything in my power to force myself to stay put. But I didn't hesitate looking longingly at the exit. He laughed at my response.

"Why do you do this to me, idiot?!" I didn't even know what to think about the whole situation. My face just got redder and hotter.

He leaned his face really close to mine in response. "Because I like you, Lovino."

And with that, I ran.


	14. Chapter 14

I headed straight for the door. I didn't care who saw, or who followed. I just fled.

I couldn't get very far, unfortunately. My mind was so confused, I just didn't understand anything anymore. I stopped by the fountain, and bent over to try and catch my breath. But of course, Antonio followed. Could he possibly make things any worse?

"Lovino! Wait!" His eyes were full of shock, plus that look of sadness mixed with pity. At least, that's what I thought it was.

I stood up and looked him straight in the eye. "No! I won't wait! You fucking people are all the same, you know that?! You don't like me, you PITY me!" I really let it out. "Because Feliciano's so damn popular, and I'm always by myself, so you just go out feeling bad for me! I'm so easily forgettable, I could die at any minute and no one would notice until it was too late!"

Antonio was completely baffled. "Lovino..."

His words suddenly meant nothing to me anymore. "Somehow, you keep noticing early, Antonio, but still you just feel bad! All you ever want to say to me is 'I'm sorry' but you're only sorry because I'm not important! Feliciano is so much better than me, and he has so many friends, you feel sorry that I can't match up to him! But you know what? I DON'T WANT TO. I HATE BEING SOCIAL. I DON'T WANT FRIENDS. I HATE PEOPLE."

"Amigo..." His eyes were sadder than I'd ever seen.

I'd finally had it. "But for some reason, no one can comprehend that, so you just go along feeling sorry for me, and then you forget I even exist! YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST OUT TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT. SO CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE SUCCEEDED. I KNOW YOU ONLY DO WHAT YOU DO SO I WON'T FEEL LESS THAN MY BROTHER. BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE. I WAS BORN LESS IMPORTANT THAN MY BROTHER, AND I'M GONNA STAY THAT WAY!"

I was panting heavier than ever. I had finally exploded. I thought I was going to punch a wall. But Antonio could only look at me. He'd never been sadder for me than right now. I wanted to puke. But instead, I ran to my secret room, knocking over lanterns on my way over. All I heard from Antonio was one word, what was probably his favorite word by now.

"Lovino..."


	15. Chapter 15

The courtyard looked like a mess from all of the lanterns I knocked off of the trees. There were three or so by the door to my room, and I knocked them all over. That was a dumb idea, but at the time I didn't care.

I slammed the door shut and sat in the back corner of the room on the floor. For once, Antonio didn't follow me here. But I wasn't going to think about that asshole. I wasn't going to think about anything. Not Feliciano, not school, not my life, and certainly not about how everyone pitied me. I could only focus on my breathing, rapid yet steady. I had closed my eyes, pulled my knees up to my chest, and buried my head in them, arms wrapped around my legs tightly.

I wasn't sure if tears were streaming down my face or sweat, but I hadn't realized it but the room had gotten extremely hot. But I didn't look up. I didn't care. I had almost died once, what would be so bad if I died for real? Certainly no one would care. Every time I entered or left a room, no one noticed. I was nonexistent to them.

Suddenly I found it hard to breathe.

I looked up and gasped, both for air and in surprise. The room was filling with flames.

I jumped up, but only started choking. My visibility was severely reduced, and I couldn't see the door. I just walked forward blindly. Another dumb idea.

Next thing I knew, I was surrounded in searing pain and heat. It felt like my skin was melting. I had this feeling for a long time, as I collapsed to the floor and finally stopped breathing.

The next morning, all that remained of the room was the door frame, the ashes from the room's interior, and candlewax from the lanterns that had been knocked off the previous night.


End file.
